Just thinking. . .

A dear friend of mine up here in KC is close to having her third child. Benjamin was about this age when I started itching to get pregnant with Samuel. We had a prayer/baby shower for her at the house today and I was struck by several things in my heart. First, and most importantly, I have no itch. To get pregnant that is. It's interesting the way the human heart works, and after my experiences, my growing heart for adoption, and a difficult past year, I am amazingly content in the place the Lord has me. But secondly, we were talking about fears/experiences that we have and how they relate to our children's birth stories. I realized that though I struggle with fear sometimes, I am realizing that the Lord has so graciously given me experiences in life that overwhelm the fears with the truth of the Lord. I know, for example, without a shadow of a doubt that both of my children belong to the Lord. Not in the obligatory-he-made-them kind of way. But a deep down, for real, he saved and healed them before they could cry because he has a purpose for them. Amidst all the suffering and tears that came from those times, I am so grateful to have learned. He has given me a testimony of His goodness that so outweighs the fears, it's all I can focus on. I am in a place of looking for the ways he has rewarded those who seek him, and I see my testimonies as rewards. Many people struggle with the same fears for decades, because they either never happen or it did happen and they couldn't find the Lord in the midst of it. If you have a story, tell it. The Lord longs to hear us share the work of his heart in our lives with those around us. It will forever unite my heart to His. And I can't wait to hear yours. . .

"I will praise you O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders." Psalm 9:1