Much-Afraid and her travels

So I am here in Branson, MO with my wonderful and dear extended family. For those of you who haven't heard, Branson is a family place that some have called "christian vegas." I have to laugh out-loud at such a statement because I am not sure that those two words could ever be used properly in the same sentence. Nonetheless, we have had a grand time at Silver Dollar City and White Water. I will be sure to show pics when I get back to my own computer.

However, for today I had a stunning thought to share. I try to post things about my own heart, though as a mother those things sometimes get lost in the midst of my children. Today, with wonderful help from NaeNae, Papa, Erin, Will and Kelly, I had a moment to read in the sun. I am reading a wonderful book entitled "Hinds Feet on High Places." I read it many years ago and it touched my heart so deeply that I felt it needed another read. Listen to this word:

"Each time she shrinkingly took hold of the hand of either Sorrow or Suffering a pang went through her, but once their hands were grasped she found they had amazing strength, able to pull and even lift her upwards and over places which she would have considered utterly impossible to reach."


In this story, the characters are aptly named for the emotion they most often espouse. Much-Afraid is most often afraid and the wonderful shepherd (Jesus) has given her companions in the journey she is about to undertake. Much to her surprise and disdain the two helpers the Lord chose were Sorrow and Suffering. Now, I will be the first to admit, when it comes to those two I have not had much experience. Only a small bit in the births of my children, but I have tasted them. I know, if only for a short time, what it means to experience the suffering of my children and a sorrow about it. In my limited experience, I saw so clearly what it meant to hold to sorrow and suffering, to cling to Jesus in them, to recognize that in those moments I am closer to the Father than ever before and that pain and love cannot be separated. In my own heart, I am drawn powerfully close to the Father in the midst of sorrow and suffering, He is a rock and a strong tower. The dynamic that connects the human heart between pain and love is so intense that at times they cannot be connected. The emotions I feel for my children cannot be separated in those moments. The pain for them and the love of them are one in the same. I wish I could describe it better, but "once she grasped the hands of Sorrow and Suffering. . . . shr found that they had amazing strength." It is in the hands of sorrow and suffering that we seek out the Father, it is in that place that we can truly see that His burden is light, and it is in that place that we understand the reason for Sorrow and Suffering in a believers life. We must hold to them, that we would be drawn near to the Father, that we would know His strength, and that we would truly understand the power that can only come from holding to sorrow and suffering. For if we do not hold on to them, we become angry and bitter, confused as to why they had to happen. I would much rather testify to the power and strength of the Father in those moments than complain about sorrow and suffering. Lord, may I understand even in the midst of life that you are in control. Your hand is always with us and you will never turn against us. Let me live m life in such a way that I will testify to you and your burden. Amen.